Vingettes
by Otaku Tess
Summary: Ch1. Mayra Conceives. Ch2. Rusty, upset. Ch3. A well written paper by Rusty Venture. Ch4. Why is Rusty Upset? Shell Silverstein knows! Ch5. Hank and Dean: Live togeter DIE TOGETHER.
1. Chapter 1

Vingettes

By: Otaku Tess

"Mayra Brandish"

_Tick, tick, tickticktick tock tock tock tock... TOCK TOCK. Why does it take so long? The tick tick tocking of the clock? -- What did the box say again? Maybe I am doing it wrong. Why is it taking so, so... long...!_ The blond woman lamented, as she lunged for the box, looking frantically again for the instructions.

"Tick tock, tick tock..." She muttered to herself, as she began to read aloud, so as to keep her thoughts together. "**Urinate on ALIVE (tm) Home Pregancy Test Strip (r), wait one minute. If Home Pregnancy Test Strip (r), turns BLUE, you are pregnant**..." She paused, looking at the strip. Still white. She looked at the clock. "How could it have only been 20 seconds so far!" She complained, "I must be doing something wrong. I'll... I'll have to go get more of them..." She began, frantically talking to herself as she paced around her bedroom. It was small and cramped, and smelled like sweat, and tears, and furious masterbation. She just couldn't understand why Rusty made her stay in here, still. Even still. Even after what they had shared together. Even after she was carring his baby inside her body at this very moment -- "Rusty, I need to get more of these..." She continued her voice raising to match the intensity of her wild thoughts, "Tick tock, Rusty. You'll let me sleep in your room now, yes, oh, yes you will... Rusty, father of my child, love of my life, dream with in a never ending dream, feild of dreams, baseball! JIMMY DEAN SAUSAGES! HOME RUN--!!"

That was when her communicator's timer began beeping loudly. She looked down at the strip of the home pregancy test.

A smile crept over her face, as she connected to Rusty's Communicator frequency.

"N'yello!" Rusty answered, an odd expression on his, pefect, perfect face.

"There you are! How could you just leave like that without telling me where you're going!?" Mayra wailed helplessly, completely forgetting what it was she had called for -- just for a moment.

"Look, you're not my mother. You're my BODYGUARD." Dr. Venture explained, again. Golly dilly dang darnit, she knew he wasn't his mother. Mother. Mother. Something... What did she need to say? What did he say? Body guard... body... oh, sweet wilting body... fragile sexy little body...

"HOW CAN I GUARD YOUR BODY -- IF I CAN'T BE CLOSE TO YOUR BODY!" She blurted into her Communicator. "You just run off leaving me here to worry about you -- Don't you get it, Rusty! Rusty Rusty Rusty! Your name is a thousand suns in my heart, burning only for... you, and you would just put me through that! I Love you! And --" She pauses just long enough to hear Rusty say "Oh. HA HA HA..." in that Dash Gummit Sarcastic voice of his!

"Something I needed to tell you, and I just called you over and over... And it's important. Because I have taken like 5 of these things. Tick, tock tick tock, and it takes too long. So I go get another one. And Now I am sure, Rusty! And it's the greatest news of your life. You're going to be a father!"

Silence.


	2. Chapter 2

**VINGETTES**

By:

Otaku Tess

**Invocation ONE**

"Should I Stay, or Should I Vertigo?"

"Ohh... My God... this is the worst news ever..." Dr. Venture exclaimed, clawing at his face with his hands in exasperation. "We have to do something..." He just kept repeating that, over and over. For the last 20 minutes, he'd been pacing around. Apparently this is what she'd been trying to tell him all yesterday.

But he hadn't gotten in until late this morning... And as a result, Mayra didn't actually get around to remembering the news until sometime in the early afternoon. So, here he was, more hung over than he had ever been in his entire life, pacing around his lab as his foot steps echoed frantically in the emptiness. The echos that hurt his head all the way down to his boney fingers. Re rubbed his head, trying to make the ringing stop for just a moment, just so maybe he could think. "This is positively the worst thing that has ever happened to me." He repeated again, helplessly.

"Rusty, Rusty, Rusty..." The woman said, soothingly, stepping up behind him to rub his shoulders, "This is not a bad thing -- this is the greatest thing -- you just don't see it yet. You're READY for this!"

"Hmm..." Dr. Venture, paused a moment, the massage felt really good. His head cleared a moment. "You said you were on the pill!" He exclaimed, after a second, pulling away from her. Sure, he had been 90 sure she was lying at the time. But lying is lying, no matter how you slice it. Besides, what were the odds he would be this unlucky?

"I didn't say what kind of pill..." Mayra explained, "These are for tri-polar disorder."

"I thought you were making that up!" Dr. Venture said, sobbed frantically.

"It doesn't matter now, Rusty! What's done is done. And now something beautiful has happened." The woman reached out to take his wrists in her hands, in what seemed to him, an attempt to be comforting -- though, it really only made him somewhat frightened. "You put your seed in me--"

"What."

"--And now! You're mine forever. We're going to have babies. And live together as mother and father-- Father and Mother-- And you'll always be here now..." She explained, in an attempt to be soothing, "You're going to be a great Daddy..." The woman continued, trying to get the young man to look into her eyes.

When at last his eye line met hers he immediately regretted it. She was giving him that look, that horrible sad look. "Don't look at me like that!" Dr. Venture exclaimed.

"Like what?" She asked, earnestly.

"Like **that**! Like -- what!? You're trying to make me feel guilty, is what you're looking at me like!"

"I am not..." The woman pouted, "I just love you, that's all."

"Just --" The man choked on his own words for a moment, "Just -- _take care of it._"

Silence.


	3. Chapter 3

"VINGETTES"

**A Good Paper**

**BY: T.S. Venture**

**Invocation THREE**

He wasn't upset about his dad. It was just that. It had been a GOOD paper.

It was really a very good paper. T.S. Venture had written what he had considered to be a very, very good paper, all things considered.

It had a thesis, and research, and supporting evidence. And even a lot of very well thought out diagrams and blue prints and things.

It wasn't his fault he never had a chance to actually build the thing.

HIS FUCKING FATHER DIED! For Crist's sake. Benihana's Ghost, Good Goldy Hawn's Oscar! Who would give someone a D for writing such a good paper, and then just happening to have his father die all of a sudden before he could finish the prototype.

So he hadn't been right on schedule with it... According to Professor Richard "Jackass" Impossible... he should have been able to have SOMETHING to show him... since the project was due in just a few days prior to his father's ACTUAL death.

Professor Impossible just didn't know how quickly Ol' Rusty could whip up something, like, maybe a Walking Eye. Like the kind Dr. Zulu sent after him and his dad to spy on them. Or how simple it would be for him to unveil, maybe, a ray that could melt a small plastic city. Or build a functional Robot heavily armed with the ability to -- I don't know, fire gumdrops and explode rainbows out of it's chest cannons. Or Something equally stupid. Enough to get an A in this fucking class.

He wasn't upset about his dad.

He just didn't feel like going all the way down to the Student Store to get parts for GUARDO... or ZOOMACHINE, or DRAGONBOT... (He hadn't decided yet what he would call it. In the paper he ominously referred to it simply as: Romeo.) And putting it together would have been a tad excessive, he thought, after he had put so much work into the paper and the diagrams and all that tedious stuff.

No. He wasn't upset about his dad.

He just figured, hey, a D is passing.

A big unnoticed, under-appreciated, boring, below average D is passing.


	4. Chapter 4

VINGETTES

**"The Issue"  
**

**Invocation FOUR**

At some point after turning 25, Rusty's back had started to... How should one put this?

Concave.

Right about the middle it had begun to take on the unusual shape of a spoon curved inward to reflect back a Bazzaro upside down world. And so at the same time, did a hunch begin to form, so much like whom The Bard Spoke Of, that I would swear that this were the winter of his discontent.

And when Rusty's back began to Concave, I came to wonder if perhaps his reaction to the events transpiring in his life were not the cause of it.

It is sometimes hard to tell, with Rusty, what exactly it is that is troubling him.

I do try my best to read him. Such as the time that for many anguished nights he recited insecurities about the Chinaman to all who would listen. Yet, I was so sure that the Chinaman was not the issue, that I put him to bed, every night, saying to him, "Don't Worry Rusty. Let Me Tell You Something I Once Took Very Much To Heart:

"If you have to do the dishes such an awful, boring chore--

If you have to do the dishes instead of going to the store--

If you have to do the dishes and you drop one on the floor,

maybe they won't let you do the dishes anymore!" I finished, succinctly.

And each night, for several nights, Rusty went to bed, saying only, "Goodnight, and I'd like pancakes in the morning." Occasionally he would say "please."

And finally, on the last night, he turned to me as I made my way out, and said, "But wouldn't you just get punished more for throwing the dishes on the floor?"

"Well, yes, Rusty." I responded, turning back to him.

"Then, what's the logic in that?" He persisted, "You'd still have to do the dishes, and you'd be in trouble..."

"Well. Maybe it's not about what it pretends it's about." I began, "Maybe it is about considering your responsibilities before choosing round-about ways of avoiding them that ultimately do nobody any good."

"Oh. Goodnight, HELPeR..." He nestled down into his bed, and as I was at the hall-lit doorway he stated, "And I'll give ya a tune up tomorrow if ya want... It might be swell... I'll just have cereal, and we can get right to it..."

And he never brought up the issue of the chinaman again.

So it is in the vein of this same anticdote, that I wondered if perhaps Rusty was not more upset about the unfortunate turn of events regarding his former Body Guard, than he was about the task of raising two infants with only myself and a strange new OSI agent to aid him.

I did not seek to bring it up with him, as at this point he normally refused my input... And in matters of the heart, I am not normally one to consult.

But I always sort of wonder if Rusty wasn't more upset about losing his first love, than he was about becoming an unwitting father.

Perhaps.

And perhaps I project too much.

After all, I am part projector.


	5. Chapter 5

Interlude

Doctor Venture stood quietly over the body of his dead son. He looked very peaceful, really. Died as he had certainly lived. In a Batman costume acting a damn fool.

It was a shame that Dean had found him first. Something bothered the Doctor about that. He wasn't exactly sure why, since they had been through this whole ordeal once before with the boys' positions reversed. And he knew exactly what was going to happen. The remaining son would be taken care of, and recloned in 6 months, 1 week, and 5 days, give or take a few, a birthday would be held, and antics would continue as usual. Despite that however, something about the look on Dean's face across from him, standing there, stricken, beside Brock, made him feel like there was a rock in his stomach and a vice on his shoulders. He didn't like the feeling.

"Well, uh, Brock, don't you think you should---"

"Oh, no, I did it last time. You promised you would do it next time."

"What are you talking about?" Dean managed.

"You're my body guard, you do shit like this all the time! Come on."

"This is different."

"No it isn't!"

"Yeah, it is..." Brock pressed, uncomfortably.

"How?"

"Come on, Doc."

The doctor really wanted to argue, but knew that what his bodyguard was saying was true.

When Dean had died alone a few years ago, Dr. Venture had begged Brock to take care of Hank for him, despite Brock's insistence that he wasn't to kill children. Finally Brock had caved, sensing the Doctor's reluctance to murder his son, but on the stipulation that if this ever happened again, Dr. Venture was to do it.


End file.
